It's been a while...

It's been a while since my last post...I have been way too busy...but I finally have some time to sit down and write. :)

I have several things going on in my life right now and many prayers are needed. I know that God is taking care of me and that He is in control and that is so encouraging to me.  I was reading in Ecclesiastes this morning a little bit about the meaninglessness of things "under the sun" and it kindof helped me to remember that nothing in my life really matters too much. My career, my bank account, my relationship status...they're all meaningless without God.  At the end of Ecclesiastes the author (some think to be Soloman...some think to just be "Teacher"...either way it's unknown) says this:

"Not only was the teacher wise, but also he imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true. The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails--given by one Shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.  Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.

Now all has been heard; here is the CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

If I do what I have a duty to do...then I have meaning my life.  When I was deep in sin and was not in close communion with God, I kept thinking about how my life didn't make sense anymore. At the beginning of my struggle I didn't feel that way, actually I kept saying..."If God didn't want me to have this, then why does it make so much sense??"  But the more I did what I was doing, the less I felt God was near and life started to seem meaningless. My life started to lose it's vigor. I realized that as I shut God out, I was shutting out all depth and meaning to my life.

My fight in life is not against any "mortal men"...it's against Satan and honestly against myself...my sin nature...that is enough to fight without having to fight my own team. Why do I waste time worrying about what other people are getting or have when those things are meaningless?? As a Christian, I should know that I need nothing but the blood of Christ.  Through Christ I have a very personal God. He makes sense.