Prayer

Prayer is really difficult for me. I forget to do it. I forget that it's real and I'm really reaching out to an all powerful, all-knowing God.  I can't tell you how many times that I have prayed and then thought, "Well that was nice. It helped me to be real about this situation. I don't think anything will change about the situation, but at least I am now calm." And then something would happen that was totally not in my control and I would realize that God was working.  Satan is always at work trying to "steal, kill and destroy" and he puts so many lies in my head about what kind of an idiot I am and how stupid I am to believe in something that's not real. I should be on my knees 24-7 praying just trying to fight off this murderer that's constantly trying to attack. I need prayer from people that I will learn how to be a constant prayer warrior. That I would talk to God about things going on in my life that only He can control and that I will trust Him to work it out for the good of all people, not just me. Is there anyone out there who will pray for me? Pray with me?

I need prayer and I need to pray.

Salvation

One of the promises that God gives to people who accept Him at any point in life is to continue the good work He started in them to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I used to think, "YES, I'm a christian! But what now? I mean, I am in the middle of a degree with debt, bitterness for most of my family and the way I felt I was treated and I had no huge desire to read things I didn't understand (The Bible). Each little thing that happened during that time (and in times to follow) tested my faith. Anytime something bad would happen, I would think "Well why is this happening to me if God is real?" Why would a loving God let that happen?  If nothing on earth happens that God doesn't either cause or allow...then why is this happening to me if he loves me so much?

Well, the answer is...that no man should perish. God's deepest desire is that no man should perish.  His deepest desire is for no one to be destroyed.  When he allows things to happen to me, it is part of the master plan that NO MAN should perish.  What an unselfish thing it is for someone to lay down his life for another. An unselfish thing that someone would allow God to cause or allow something to happen that doesn't initially benefit them, for the greater purpose of saving someone else.

So my question to myself now is...sure, I believe, but do I love God? The Bible says  "Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. ¹⁹ You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." If I love Him, am I listening to Him and obeying his commands of me at this moment? It's about choosing a side...sometimes it's about waking up in the morning and knowing what side I am on so that I can face the world around me. It's a constant surrender of self.


If someone told me that I could give one of my kidneys and save my sister's life...sure...I would be a little hesitant to go under the knife for her...and I like to think that my parents would never REQUIRE me to do anything but trust that I would do it out of love for her...but in the end, if it saved her life, I would do it. I would allow myself to be temporarily injured so that she could be saved from death.

I watched this video this morning and I thought it good enough to post on my blog.  I'm not always sure if I agree (understand) with what this pastor says, he is an imperfect human too, but I like this particular video and thought it good to share with others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rc7OFH5yKY&feature=relmfu

My thoughts are now, do I need to question God?  If I do, then do I know him?  I know the heart of God...it is Good. God is always Good. The real question is do I know my own heart?  My heart is deceitful and desperately wicked...that's what the Bible says...and if I'm being honest, there are times, when I could care less about someone else's life or soul or wellbeing for their family. There are times when I start thinking "What about me?? What do I get out of this?" Those are the times that Satan is most at work in my life. Testing me, trying to trap me and allow me to fall prey to him so that I won't want to do what my dad is asking of me. Well, the answer to my question "What about me?" comes with discipline, but the answer is Joy. I get Joy out of loving God and wanting to do His will. He sees my heart and rewards  me when I desire Him. That is a pretty cool thing.

Ella

Here is one of my favorite Ella videos. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbL9vr4Q2LU&feature=channel_video_title